This is a straightforward article about bidets, online behavior, and money.
Not a joke. Not an ad disguised as humor. An explanation, a case study, and a clear request at the end.
The simple case for a bidet
A bidet is not exotic technology. It’s a plumbing attachment that uses water to clean you after using the toilet.
Practically speaking:
- Water cleans better than dry paper.
- Most bidets install in under 10 minutes on a standard toilet.
- Over time, they reduce toilet paper use and cost.
- They are less irritating, especially for people with sensitive skin or medical issues.
None of that is controversial. Millions of people already use them. The only real barrier is inertia.
The “Brown Finger” campaign: attention vs. intent
Earlier, I ran a deliberately absurd series built around a fake condition called Brown Finger Disease — a joke about the long-term consequences of dry wiping and cultural reluctance to adopt bidets.
Those pieces worked exactly as designed:
- They got read.
- They got shared.
- They got clicked.
If you’re here for the humor or the cultural commentary rather than shopping, these are the related pieces:
- Brownfinger 2025: The Washless Recession
https://blueribbonteam.com/blog/2025/11/08/brownfinger-2025-the-washless-recession/ - Fighting Brownfinger
https://blueribbonteam.com/blog/2025/01/11/fighting-brownfinger/ - Real Problems
https://blueribbonteam.com/blog/2025/02/21/real-problems/ - Stay Clean, Stay Healthy, Stay Smart
https://blueribbonteam.com/blog/2025/01/09/stay-clean-stay-healthy-stay-smart/ - Flush Away Costs: Why Bidets Are the Smart Landlord’s Plumbing Solution
https://blueribbonteam.com/blog/2025/01/08/flush-away-costs-why-bidets-are-the-smart-landlords-plumbing-solution/ - 101 Reasons to Bidet Your Butt
https://blueribbonteam.com/blog/2024/12/02/101-reasons-to-bidet-your-butt/
Those links are here for reader interest, context, and internal navigation—not as a sales funnel.
What the data says (briefly)
Thousands of people clicked bidet-related links. Almost nobody bought.
That’s normal, and it’s instructive:
- Humor attracts attention, not purchase intent.
- Multi-product category pages dilute decisions.
- Clicking a link is often curiosity, not commitment.
This isn’t a complaint about readers or affiliate programs. It’s simply how online behavior works.
Content can succeed at being read and still fail at being transactional.
So here’s the direct version
This article exists to remove ambiguity.
If you are already in the market for a bidet
—or you’ve been considering one and just haven’t bothered to choose—
this is where a link actually makes sense.
No jokes. No fake diseases. No buried intent.
The ask
If you plan to buy a bidet, buy it through this link:
- It does not cost you more.
- It helps fund the writing.
- It tells me, clearly, what kind of work is worth doing more of.
If you’re not buying a bidet, that’s fine.
Read the other pieces. Laugh. Move on.
But if you are—this is the cleanest way to close the loop.
